learning to love yourself

Self love, and self image can be hard. We live in harsh and cruel world. The standards put on women to be “beautiful” are unattainable.

Taylor Swift said in her Netflix documentary Miss Americana, “If you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that ass that everybody wants. But if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, your stomach isn’t flat enough. It’s all just fucking impossible”

Today I will be sharing with you, how I found my self worth, and some simple tips that you can use to help you find yours!

In December 2019 my self esteem was at an all time low. I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship where I felt that my worth was found in the approval and acceptance of my boyfriend at the time. I’m not going to lie, that was a really hard time in my life. It took me months to rebuild myself after feeling like I had lost everything. (This is why we don’t find out identity in our partners)

After months of crying, and lots of therapy, I finally realized that I was better off without him, and that what really matters is if I love myself and how God sees me.

The first thing I did to start to rebuild my self worth, was to pray and really dive into the Word of God.

The truth is, is that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14), that God “made them a little lower than angels and crowned them with glory and honor.” (Psalms 8:5)

I now know that my identity is found solely in Christ, and that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me.

I encourage you to really dive into the Bible, and read all of Gods promises to us, and how much He loves us.

The second thing I did was I started going to the gym.

Now I am not saying that you need to change your appearance and spend hours in the gym to love yourself.

But I found that going to the gym helped me to feel better both physically and mentally. The gym, and lifting weights helped me to feel strong. It also made me realize that I can do anything I set my mind to.

The third thing I did was surround myself with people who love me for me.

Finding good friends is hard. Like really hard. I am so thankful for the friends that I had at that point in my life. I was able to really just be my raw authentic self. Having them by my side was really helpful in my healing process.

I am even more thankful for the new friends in my life, who also love me unconditionally and accept me for who I am.

The fourth thing I did was removed people who hurt me from my life.

This was really hard for me, I didn’t want to cut this person out of my life, but I knew that I couldn’t be around someone who made me feel undermined, inferior, and overall just bad about myself.

As a Christians we are called to love everyone. I still love these people, but I decided that I couldn’t live up to my full potential with them in my life.

It’s hard to better yourself, when you are around people who make you feel bad.

The fifth thing I did was realize that I won’t ever live up to every standard of “beauty” in this world, and stopped comparing myself with others.

In the age of social media, where everyone posts their best selfies, their best pictures, and their best angles its hard not to compare yourself to others.

Our beauty does not come from trying to look like everyone else, but from our individuality. Our beauty really does come from our own unique traits, and quarks that make us who we are.

I think of it this way, God designed and made me, and guess what? God, doesn’t make mistakes.

I am perfectly imperfect and that is the best part about me.

I hope that you will embrace your flaws instead of hiding them. I hope that you will find comfort in God. I hope that you know social media is not real life, but the perfect side of life people want you to see. I hope that you learn to love yourself.